Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
