I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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