Pants 0. Shit 1.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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