I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
