they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What a dumb baby whore.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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