There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
