I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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