Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
