im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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