Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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