ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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