I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
