'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
