so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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