I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
