After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There are leaves in my underwear?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
