I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize