Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
