Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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