Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I love you. Go after that dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize