Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
