Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
ttyl tear gas
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
