in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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