Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
