Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my poor anus
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
