And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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