I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
