Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
