I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
