i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
