Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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