We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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