Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
