Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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