as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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