he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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