umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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