worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
