another moral hangover. fuck.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
