i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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