Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize