I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we're so committed to being not committed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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