how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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