When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
