The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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