No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
