We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize