after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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