The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
