it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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