i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
