OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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