i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize