listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
