I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize