the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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