She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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