So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
