He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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