we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
