can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
