My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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