he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
