I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
